You Are For Me

Today has put me in a strange mood. Strange for lack of a better word. Thoughtful might be more fitting. Pensive. Nostalgic. Curious. A wide array of words would work, come to think about it. To put it most simply, I've been doing quite a lot of thinking.

Firstly, it's Easter. The celebration of the sacrifice our loving Lord made for us two thousand years ago. He gave us the greatest gift. He bore all of our sins on his guiltless shoulders and suffered death on a cross for our sakes. But it goes even further. He forgave us of our sins and went on to defeat death, rising again on the third day to ascend into Heaven to prepare a place for us and to reign eternally. God is so good! It just blows my mind.

I still can't bring myself to watch The Passion of the Christ. I want to, but I'm half afraid to. We've heard the stories growing up and have both read and seen various descriptions of the brutal torture and death Jesus endured, and hearing it is so difficult as it is. But watching it.. or a reproduction of it at least... I dont know that I'll be able to handle it. I feel like I should watch it though, to really be reminded of it, of its intensity and the depth of His love for facing all that when He could have simply said no and let us suffer what we deserved. A pain like that can only be put into words so sufficiently, and I don't believe words do it justice. And so The Passion is on my list of movies to watch. But I'll definitely have to be in a right mindset to watch it.. it wont be something I take lightly...

Along with Easter, today was my grandfather's 75th birthday. Happy Birthday, Pop! I love that man so much. I love being around him and hearing him laugh and talk about when we were younger or him growing up or even his time in the Marines. One of the most vivid memories I have of him from when I was little was the two of us sitting under the piano playing house with my dolls. I don't get to see him very often since I'm off at Baylor, but I try to make it a point to stop by and see him and Nanny every time I come through. Dad's always reminding me that they won't be around forever, which is true with everyone honestly, so I've really been challenged to take advantage of and cherish every moment I'm given, every chance I get to be around them.

Then that got me thinking, shouldn't we look at every moment that way? Every second of every minute of every day of every week of every.... so on and so on, is a gift. It's a gift from God to be able to get in the car for two hours and step inside my front door to see my dad seated at his desk, my mom in the kitchen, my brother playing video games in the living room, and my sister bolting out the door for her truck. It's a gift to be able to walk down the hall, up two flights of stairs, around a corner or two and knock on the door with the Dr. Seuss sticky notes and magnet board hanging on it to have it open and my best friend appear with a smile on her face. It's a gift to be able to open up facebook or myspace or blogger and to have an instant connection to friends that I wouldn't otherwise get to chat with. If we only took the time to see how much of a blessing each person and each moment is.

Lot's of thoughts all over the place have been bumping around in my head today, I guess. Not sure if any of them make sense or relate to one another, but they're all there and all weighing heavy on my heart in some way or another. I guess here is as good of a place as any to set them out, hm?

Good news, by the way! This summer is falling into place! My last exam is May 8, I move home on May 9, then spend the next week working on my high school's drill team's spring show. The following two weeks I'll stay at Nanny and Pop's to have the huge garage sale, then once that's over I'm off to Louisiana. :) I am absolutely elated! In December, I was beyond disappointed, near-devistated, at not being chosen to be a line camp leader. If I had been picked, that meant I would have been at Baylor all summer, living on campus running camps and orientations. But now that my plans didn't go through --one of my favorite quotes is "The best way to make God laugh is to make plans"-- I have a whole new summer infront of me.

Of course, who's to say this is what is actually going to happen. A million things could change in the next month, but it is nice to have this to look forward to! A summer of working on a show with my best friend and new friends, experiencing a world of new things and adventures, doing what I love. Of course, I've got an online class to take and may be back at Baylor for a few days for a three-day summer course, but things have just been falling into place to really set this summer up for me. Little, tiny things and big things, too.

I love that He's got everything under control and can see the big picture so much better than we can!

I guess that's all for now. This blog had a point, but it just turned into randomness. Don't they all though? :] Goodnight, everyone! I should probably be getting some sleep. Might be a smart idea, huh? So yes, goodnight. Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite! And blessings on each and every one of you!

Bailey Jean

Song of the Day:
"You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe
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